The CEO has informed me that I am to make a public announcement of the fact that Southern Trout Magazine has an opening for an intern position. Qualifications are as follows; (1) individual must be house broken, (2) minimum age is one year (newly wined puppies please do not apply), (3) must be clean of bad habits such as chewing shoes, sucking eggs, and barking at the drop of a pin. Must be willing to live in semi-toxic, cigar smoke polluted environment.
The internship is open to all breeds expect pit bull dogs, St. Bernards and hounds. Females are preferred, but neutered males will be considered. Pedigree documentation is not required (i.e. if you say you are a border collie, but you look and act like a cocker spaniel, we do not really care). While the internship does not include monetary compensation, the candidate selected will be given room and board at STM’s Condorhurst Compound.